How many people within your social circle know you carry a gun? Is it a foreign concept to them, or are they “about that life”? Is this aspect of your lifestyle common knowledge?
I find myself in a unique position that seems to be uncommon amongst some gun carriers: There are many instances where I’m the only one of the group that is equipped with the tools and training to address a violent encounter. It is for this reason that I take great care to control who knows that information and with whom they share it. Why? Well you’d be surprised how quickly other people are willing to volunteer you to be the cooler: To be the one that solves whatever problems might arise.
So what we have is people who don’t understand the potential severity of the fallout, the physical, emotional, and legal implications, conscripting you to be their de facto bodyguard. Here’s an example: At my previous job, I had a coworker who routinely asked me to walk her to her car after dark: a seemingly benign request. I took this as a teachable moment, and asked her if she genuinely expected me to fight on her behalf, or if I was just functioning as a scarecrow. After a little conversation I directed her to some resources that would allow her to take control over her personal safety. Now, I could have just kept quiet, and played the scarecrow, especially since there was never any violent crime against a person during my whole time there (a few windows got busted out, and some petty property crime). Instead, I gave her some recommended reading, and suggested a flashlight and pepper spray, and she left the experience much more confident and well-equipped.
I also make sure she understood exactly what she was signing me up for; the potential risk of serious bodily injury, the potential financial implications, and legal liability. The kicker: she didn’t even know I was a gun carrier, just that I had an interest in self defense and self protection.
The ones that DO know about my lifestyle look to me to go play John McClane in the event of an active killer or other deadly force threat. To the point that, several months back when there was a shooting that made the news near my old office (all reports suggest it was targeted, interpersonal violence), a few coworkers made comments that they wished I’d been there, as if that would have made them safer. My response to that was “Nope!” I explained to them that my tools and equipment were there for me and my immediate family. If they could keep up, they could follow me out, but I wasn’t about to hunt down and engage the threat unless that threat was between me and the exit. I’d feel bad. I’d send flowers. But I’m not willing to risk my physical, financial, and psychological well-being for another adult that has the same opportunity to develop the abilities and skill-sets that I have.
Now, that is certainly the most extreme example, but also the least likely. Consider this: If you’re out with friends or family and find yourself in something like a gas station hold up, do you think that person or people you’re with is/are emotionally prepared to deal with that, or are they going to freak out and yell something like “You’ve got a gun! Do something!!!”? In everything I’ve learned through my instruction and my research, the latter is far more likely.
Often when it comes to an armed lifestyle, we tend to think about risk management in terms of the tools we carry, or maybe (if we’re lucky) awareness and Managing Unknown Contacts. Rarely, if ever, do people consider that the people that aren’t threats could still be liabilities in those situations.
The Suited Shootist 